|
Content Copyright "Cool Stuff" Media, Inc. 2009Reproduction is prohibited without permission
Contact us at:
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it Email this page to a friend
What's real about "reality"?
Two people are about to board an airplane. . .
One person can't control herself because she is so excited to travel to a new a place and experience new adventures.
The other person is sweating profusely with a racing heartbeat scared to step on board. This person is afraid that the plane might crash and end his life in an instant.
So tell me, "Who has the right perception?"
The fact is, there is no "right" answer--but there are two completely different "worlds" of reality. Nonetheless, neither person is right nor wrong. We all have different opinions and different perspectives. The only reality check is this: The way that we--as individuals--choose to look at something, someone, or a situation determines the type of the world that we live in.
Our mentality creates our reality.
Have you ever heard the expression, "There is no reality, only perception"? Well, how you see the world is how it actually exists--good, bad, or indifferent. Every thought and situation you create in your head gives you an impression of each experience you have and then supports or creates your next experience.
Say, for example, you predict that learning a new language is going to be really hard. Guess what? It most likely will be. Why? Because your mind doesn't like to be proven wrong (yes, it's a powerful, but very stubborn instrument). Your brain will focus on everything you find difficult until the task at hand becomes difficult (just like you anticipated).
The scary and exciting truth is that the future we perceive for ourselves will often come to pass.
In other words, we are the makers and creators of the quality of life we lead. In order to take complete control and make desired changes, we should reexamine the way we currently view our lives, our friends, our teachers, and of course, ourselves.
Here's an example: I spoke with a student last week (who we'll call Jen) and she told me how frustrated she was with her parents. "What about your parents frustrates you?" I asked. Jen responded, "They never listen to me. They're not open minded and they won't ever consider my side of the story."
I mentioned that most of our "evaluations" are based on beliefs (which, by the way, are not always facts)--an important distinction. After speaking with her more, it became clear that her beliefs were affecting the way she communicated with her parents, thus strengthening this negative "feedback loop" that she claimed was "out of her control."
By approaching her parents with the thought, "They won't listen to me anyway because they're so close minded," she has immediately increased the odds of repeating the same the result again. How? There are several ways. A few may be: 1) Not putting in the effort to accurately explain herself because she feels it's a lost cause anyway. 2) Her word choice (words such as never, always, etc. provoke strong emotions in the receiver) and 3) Tone. Jen may not even realize she is perceived as demeaning or condescending. 4) Body language. Our posture and idiosyncrasies often communicate our feelings more accurately than our words.
Of course, not one of these 4 possibilities sets the foundation for a constructive discussion--regardless of the topic. Moreover, Jen's subconscious mind was searching for all of the information that confirmed her belief. Consequently, one (very minor) comment from her parents would instantly set her off again.
In most cases, our reality is constructed by our perceptions and interpretations of the information we are constantly receiving.
This can sound complicated, but the concept is simple. Our beliefs about ourselves, other people, and the world we live in perpetuate our experiences and our results--good or bad. When I say "belief" what am I referring to? Good question. This has nothing to do with religion, although, it certainly can.
People have all kinds of creative beliefs. Some common negative beliefs are:
• "People are self-centered and only willing to do what benefits them."
• "Guys are shallow and self-centered."
• "Girls are too emotional."
• "Parents don't listen."
• "Teachers abuse their authority."
• "I'm not good enough."
• "I don't deserve success."
Some positive beliefs are:
• "For the most part, people have good intentions."
• "My teachers want the best for me."
• "If I am committed I will find a way."
• "Effort is more important than natural ability."
• "By contributing more I will receive more."
• "I can accomplish my goals and enjoy the process."
• "Only taking action gets me closer to success."
Are beliefs such as these really that important? Well, you tell me. Just consider one thing: beliefs determine...
1. The type opportunities we recognize (or don't) in our daily lives and
2. What actions we will and will not take.
Look at it from a very simple level: if we believe we absolutely cannot swim, we're probably going to stay far away from swimming pools and possibly boats--and even airplanes that fly over water! Just imagine the opportunity cost! Yes, one belief can impact your life enormously. And yet, each of us has literally thousands of beliefs that are shaping our perspectives of the very subjective notion of "reality."
The good news is, a positive belief (contrary to the swimming example) has an equally powerful impact on our lives--in fact, some people even argue they are more impactful. (Hmmm, I guess that is also an example of another positive and serving belief!) Remember, our beliefs--no matter how outrageous--become real in their consequences.
So...
• What are your beliefs about yourself, other people, and the world you live in?
• Are they negative or positive?
• How have these beliefs affected your life already?
TIP: As a fun experiment, the next time you catch yourself frustrated, scared, excited, or relaxed, ask yourself, "What belief must I have to feel this way?" What you discover might be the information you need to take complete control your life.
Much success to you,
- Kent
--
RELATED READING:
• Cause or Effect?
• The Power of Thought (Video)
• Maxims for Mavericks (free e-book)
Next Steps:
- Post a comment in the box below and let me know your thoughts (scroll down)
Would you like to share your thoughts? Kent would love to hear from you:
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it
Content Copyright "Cool Stuff" Media, Inc. 2010 Reproduction is prohibited without permission
Contact us at:
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
##
|
FREE Success Strategies 
