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What makes you happy?
Two men lay helplessly in their hospital beds. Their room was barren and desolate. As each day passed, Travis and Jacob kept each other company by telling stories about their life, family, and friends.
Both men were seriously ill. Travis was fortunate enough to have his bed situated next to a window where he could look through the glass to the outside world. Jacob was not so lucky. He did not have access to a window and was restricted to laying flat on his back.
The highlight of each day came when Travis would explain to Jacob all the beautiful things he saw outside. He described the park across the street where there was a spectacular lake with dozens of swans. He described the vibrant flowers, the billowing clouds, the lush trees, and the people racing their model boats. As Travis put these images into words, Jacob would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
Jacob was always amazed by Travis’ attitude—especially since his health was so poor. Travis was very optimistic and always seemed to have a smile on his face. Jacob began to think his happiness was a result of being next to the window.
Eventually Jacob thought, “Why should Travis get to sit up and why should he get the window view?” At first, he felt bad for having such a selfish thought. However, as the weeks passed, his envy grew stronger and his attitude became increasingly bitter toward life.
Late one night, an unexpected emergency sent Travis to the ER room. The following morning, Jacob was informed that Travis had passed away. Although feeling slightly sad, he felt more excitement about the idea of finally having his bed next to the window. When he felt the time was right, Jacob asked the nurse if he could be moved to the window.
Slowly and painfully, Jacob excitedly propped himself up to take his first look out the window. Finally he would get to see the beautiful world outside—the same view that had kept Travis cheerful for so long. Eagerly, Jacob took his first look. He was shocked. The window faced a bare brick wall. There was no park, no swans, no pond, and… no view at all!
Then why was Travis so happy while he was alive when he was essentially experiencing the same grim circumstances as Jacob? There’s only one way to explain it: He chose to be. Happiness is not something that awaits us each morning. It’s not something that automatically occurs as a result of our surroundings. It’s not a genetic predisposition. And it’s not found in the accumulation of “things.” Happiness is a choice.
Circumstances can influence the way we feel temporarily (if we allow them to), but it’s the meaning we associate to a particular result or event that ultimately determines our experience and our emotions. Feelings are never “imposed” on us and we certainly don’t catch emotions in the same way we catch a cold. In reality, we have internal triggers that direct our moods. It’s our brain that makes the final decision (either consciously or unconsciously) about the way we feel.
Nice weather, a compliment, or even a big bank account does not guarantee that we will live a life of happiness. If we wait for our circumstances to be “just right” or get overly fixated on a distant outcome, then we’re robbing ourselves of the happiness we could be enjoying right now—the same happiness that would keep us motivated, optimistic, and healthy.
If you think about it, happy people are not genetically privileged, they have simply made a mental habit of seeking and appreciating what is good—no matter how small or insignificant it seems. They recognize things that other people don’t see and they assume the best. In summary, here’s how it works: The more grateful we are, the more we will find there is to be grateful for.
The pursuit of happiness is an inward journey. Serenity exists within all of us, but it’s either suppressed or expressed by the way we chose to look at the world around us. Physically, we all live in the same world, but mentally, our unique perspectives paint a much different personal reality. So… the million dollar question is: how do you choose to view your own unique world? Is it a bare brick wall or is it full of beauty and wonder?
Much success to you,
- Kent Healy Next Steps:
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Content Copyright "Cool Stuff" Media, Inc. 2008
Reproduction is prohibited without permission
Contact us at:
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